Kanyah Is Now Living In The Newly Complete Retirement House In Thailand

Kanyah Is Too Lonely In Her Newly Completed Retirement House At Pakchong (Pak Chong)

Now all the building work is complete and the shock of living on her own is too much for Kanyah.

A sobbing Kanyah phoned me three times in the last few minutes to tell me how lonely she was in the house all by herself. Yes, yesterday they had the house blessing ceremony (Keun Baan Mai) and her sister and nephew’s son came to visit her from Kamphaeng Phet. The had her family with her and all the monks performing the ceremony.

Her sister and nephew’s (Jalan’s) son stayed overnight in the house but now (now it’s mid afternoon in Thailand) they have all gone home and she is alone by herself and very lonely.

A Lifetime’s Dream Come True And She Doesn’t Like It

After spending a lifetime waiting and fighting to get her own house in Thailand and spending nearly a year putting herself under great stress building one in Pakchong (Pak Chong) the truth come home to hit Kanyah hard. She doesn’t want to live there because she is alone and too lonely.

Well, I can imagine her feelings at the moment. I had a great sense of ‘loss’ when I finished my degree exams many years ago. After all the stress and being busy, working hard and being surrounded by builders, suddenly all the people are gone, all the work is complete and there is nothing left to do an no people around.

Kanyah just has to focus on the next stages of the retirement project. For her it’s getting the house furnished and sorting out the garden. She has got to learn to slow down and relax and to be comfortable with her own company.

Unfortunately it’s one of the great challenges that people face when they retire. Not many can cope with it very well.

A Few Bits And Pieces To Finish Off And Send More Money

Kanyah told me that there just a couple of things to finish off at the house:-

  1. The water tanks have been delivered and the builder has to finish them. Kanyah didn’t explain what that meant but I assume it’s providing water pumps and maybe a downpipe from the gutters.
  2. The water supply to our house is (if I am understanding what Kanyah is telling me) is not from a municipal water supply but is a local supply from a well set up by the local people. Hence the water is not clean and the builder told her she should fit a water filter. She mentioned 20,000 Baht but she’s not sure about that.
  3. Also it seems the fitting of the kitchen is not quite complete.

Buying Furniture In Thailand

When I asked Kanyah if she had anything to sleep on last night, she said no, she just slept on the floor as did her sister and Jalan’s son. That’s OK for Kanyah but not for me.

(She just phoned again, with the same news: Her sister has gone back home to Kamphaeng Phet and she is all by herself and lonely, etc, etc.)

Anyway she asked me to send more money to buy furniture, so I guess I’ll do that. The last thing I want is to arrive in Pakchong (Pak Chong) to live in a bare house and then to spend my time on holiday chasing round furniture shops.

Apart from the fact that I hate shopping, I just know we would be arguing about whet furniture to buy.

Setting Up My Workshop And Buying Machine Tools

No, let her buy the furniture and I’ll spend my holiday setting up the workshop, including buying some machine tools from Bangkok. (More on buying machine tools in Bangkok on the Retirement House Finished – Today Post)

Stop Press – Changed My Mind About The Furniture And Garden

Kanyah just phoned – again – and we discussed buying furniture and sorting the garden.

Starting with the garden she said that she wouldn’t do it until I came because it would be very expensive and we have to design it together.

Then she said she wanted to buy marble stones. (I guess she means paving stones to cover that mass of concrete she has had laid.) I said NO to that. I’m sick of throwing money away on non-essentials.

Next I mentioned buying furniture. Of course she would need more money but I was thrown back when she mentioned how much she wanted.

500, 000 Baht!. That’s £10,000 or $15,000!

I can understand spending that much in the West (e.g. in the UK) but I’m not spending that much in Thailand.

So I told her to buy the basics only. Basics being a fridge, freezer, bed and chair and table (for me)

That’s all for now. Now the retirement house really is officially finished. But still the pain and the spending goes on…


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14 Responses to “Living In The Newly Complete Thai Retirement House”

  • Steve W:

    Alan,

    Just read the latest post, I sugest you go back and help her with the garden and the details which need to be sorted. That way you will know the cost and what you will get.

    I also suggest you buy your own furniture, again so you know the cost and what you will get, nothing worse than spending good money on cheap furnature, only to have to replace it in a couple years. I’m looking forward to your company for another 20 Years.

    I suggest you purchase your equipment when you retire, to find a good ones, arrange any minor repairs, have it shiped and setup will take longer than your time on holiday. I know that it’s fun but you need to help her some.

    Finish the house then buy the toys, I know it’s hard as I have the same urges.

    Tell her you love her more and you will see her soon, women need to hear that allot.

    Your Friend

    Steve W.

    [Reply]

    admin Reply:

    Steve,

    Many thanks for the valuable advice.

    Your’e right about needing more time to find the workshop equipment – maybe I’ll just take a look down there in Bangkok to see if it’s an option or not when I do retire. From what I have seen it’s all too big and too old for my purposes.

    See you soon in Pakchong or Si Khiu Korat.

    Alan

    [Reply]

  • Len:

     I agree with your friend – you may want to be deeply involved with the
    furniture buying.  Because of past experiences with Thai furniture we
    brought our furniture over with us – Thai furniture paticularly couches and
    chairs can often be uncomfortable – you will want to sit in it and try it out.
    Unfortunately the more comfortable the more the cost. Appliances are reasonable
    but not cheap. How long before you plan on retiring ? Maybe Kanyah can talk
    a close relative to move in with her for awhile to keep her company.

    [Reply]

    admin Reply:

    Hi Len,

    Thanks for the advice. I must admit the idea of spending my time on my next trip to Pakchong in furniture with Kanyah stores fazes me!

    When we had our first builder he took Kanyah and myself to HomePro to select bathroom fittings. Kanyah has a very hot temper and quickly gets (physically) hot which raises her psychological temper even more. Needless to say, we ended up disagreeing what to buy so I just let her get on with it.

    There’s another factor here to. Bargaining – or bartering. Kanyah is always on the look-out for a discount and always says that she pays a lot more if I am around. In fact on one occasion when she I bought a folding table in Pakchong we both vowed that we never go shopping together again – ever!

    By the way the story about Kanyah and the Cheap 500 Baht Folding Camping Table – The Negotiating Skills Of A Thai In The Marketplaceis a good read. You’ll immediately understand why I don’t want to go shopping with her.

    Ideally I would like Kanyah to buy the basics, as I said, the Fridge, Freezer, a table and chair for my laptop computer and a bed.

    My retiring in Thailand date? Not for at least another year. I need to be working and saving for my retirement to Thailand as long as I can.

    As to a relative staying, it’s a good idea, but I don’t know if she has one willing to go there. I’m sure she would find someone if there was anybody willing. It’s early days yet. She is probably suffering “withdrawal” symptoms for all the activiity and stress. i’m sure she’ll level out and calm down over time.

    Again, thanks for the comment., Len, keep them coming.

    Chock Dee

    Alan

    [Reply]

  • Len:

    Alan – an after thought.While Kanyah has had a house blessing she might check to see if she needs one with you involved.

    Thais are ceremony oriented and believe very deeply in the spirit world and how they will affect you. I’m sure house blessings and occupant blessings vary but they are really nice. One thing I love about Buddhism, as opposed to many religions of the world, is that they general welcome you into their ceremonies as long as you respect what they are doing.

    Our house blessings, we had to have 2 because the house was built one section at a time, involved 9 monks ,fire and water (lots of candles), lots of string – to unite and protect , and of course rice.

    Being in a rice village we had about 75+ people attend the 2 day ceremony – the evening ceremony had most of the above and the 6:30AM ceremony was mostly the daily prayers and eating but in our house instead of the Waht.

    You may not need it but you may want to check – better to be safe than sorry and you should enjoy it – it also offers you a chance to familiarize yourself with your monks.

    You don’t need 9 monks – but I believe you do need an odd number – usually 3-9, with 9 being the most powerful. (PS – here it cost 100 bt each for the monks in the evening blessing and the same for the AM one if you have it – 100 bt is more or less the farang price – you give what you want but you always run a fine line between being cheap and being extravagant.

    Lastly – Your appliances and probably furniture will most likely come from a department store where you cannot bargain -.

    Truth is as a farang you will often be taken advantage of but I found a few Thai words helps some people in accepting you and the local stores/markets should get familiar with you quickly and treat you fair – but when in doubt –HIDE – and remember if you think the price is too high just walk away there is always some one else selling the same items.

    [Reply]

    admin Reply:

    Len, thanks for another interesting and nice comment.

    I’m not sure about a house blessing involving me. At the moment I’m not sure about Kanyah at all. She seems to be in a bad way – dispirited, bored and lonley. that’s what she sais anyway when she can be bothered to phone me which isn’t very often. i don’t think another ceremoney is going to change things.

    She has been promising to send me some photos for weeks but I have received nothing yet.

    Yes, you’re dead right about what to do when in doubt – HIDE!

    So I’m hiding for a while. At least keeping my head down – not making any suggestions or promises. Lets see how things develop by themselves.

    Good luck

    Alan

    [Reply]

  • Kathey:

    Hi Alan

    I agree with everyone. I think you should take your time and help your wife to buy things. In trust some decorate thing should do together doing you building your house.

    You should come to your house on Xmas first. After that you both can discuss what to do. You can bring your house plan or measure of your house to Homepro or Boonthavorn. Both place can give you good desire. They do not charge for desire. But you only buy a little thing there. Other thing can buy at market or wholesale shop. It’s can decrease a lot cost for you.

    For you garden it’s no need to hire company to do it. The trees in Thailand very cheap. You just buy Garden book and make by self. So you can get what you want and proud of your self. It’s a bit money.

    I can understand your wife get lonely. You will be there less in a month so she should happy for welcome you. I think in countryside have manything to do. I don’t know your wife have a job or not. If not. It’s easy for her just find something to do so it make her time. She can grow vegetable garden beside your home or decorate some garden. It’s save a lot money for you.

    Do thing slowly friend so you can get the best thing.

    Kathey

    [Reply]

    admin Reply:

    Hi Kathey

    What a lovely message you have posted here on the RetiringInThailand website.

    It’s clear from what you ahve written that you have read the other comments and thought about what you want to say. It’s very beautiful.

    I just (today 15 Nov 2011) received over 50 photos of the finished house from Kanyah and will post them as soon as I can. I’ll send you an email when I have done that.

    When I mentioned doing the landscaping and garden to Kanyah she said it would be ‘expensive’. So I’m pleased that you don’t agree.

    Kanyah spent her childhood on a farm in Kamphaeng Phet and has always wanted to have a smallholding, baby farm, or very large garden. She has always talked about growing her own vegetables and having ducks and chickens. That’s why we bought the large plot of land. It’s strange that now she has the opportunity to start fixing up the garden she doesn’t seem keen to do it.

    I think she has become too lazy because I pay for everything and if she can get someone else to do it for her then why should she do it? (That’s what she thinks – I’m guessing)

    Anyway, Kathey, thanks for the lovely comment.

    By the way the name in your email adddress looks like Japanese. Are you Japanese living in Thailand, I wonder?

    I work here in the UK with a large Japanese building company called Takenaka who are also big in Thailand (their Thai website is at so I am used to Japanese names.

    Chok Dee

    Alan

    [Reply]

  • Kathey:

    Hi Alan

    Thanks for your reply. In trust I am Thai who live in China. I have many friends from Japan and China. They like call me Miki it easy for them. My family also do farming.

    Hope you have a good time on Xmas and happy in your retire house.

    Cheer, Kathey

    [Reply]

    admin Reply:

    Hi Miki and Kathey,

    Thanks for replying. You now have another friend in UK – hopefully soon to be in Thailand.

    Your new friend, Alan

    [Reply]

  • Ron:

    I have been following your blog for a long time and find it informative, but also entertaining. I sure understand most the the stress and strain of building in Thailand since we started our home in Bnagkok. Being from the USA, I find the construction methods strang and outdated but I am impressed with the skill of the construction crew. I am living with relatives accross the Soi from our house and can watch every aspect of construction. I am photographing each step and will share them with you soon. Thanks for the ongoing story and I look forward to your furniture and garden adventures.

    [Reply]

    admin Reply:

    Ron,

    Thanks for the comment and I’m delighted you will be sharing some pictures and information of your house build project in Bangkok with our visitors. Can’t wait to see what you are up to!

    How did you get your house designed?

    I have received a set of photos from Kanyah showing the finished house and I’m uploading them to the website right now.

    I must say after all the grief that the house really does look beautiful and Kanyah has certainly done a wonderful job in her enforced project manager role.

    Look forward to hearing more of your house build project, Ron.

    Best regards and Chock Dii

    Alan

    [Reply]

  • Ron:

    Alan,

    As I mentioned in my previous post, I would like to share some of my experience building a house in Bangkok. In many respects, it is much easier than upcountry. However, we had our ups and downs. It has taken a lot longer than expected and I found that we had to be on site to oversee the processes. I am a beginner at Blogging but found that that is the best way to share with others. The site is http://bangkokflyer.blogspot.com/. This a simple Google blogspot, but a beginning. I put some photo in the blog to show progress. The floods and lack of materials caused some delays, but the overall progress is impressive for Thailand. Hope you enjoy viewing.

    I will see if my wife responds to the challenge of managing our home project as well as Kanyan as I will be returning to the USA until early next year. This leaves the wife to make the selection of interior fixture and floor coverings.

    The pictures of your home are great. I am sure you are proud of the accomplishemnts and will enjoy living there. I spent a lot of time in Nakon Rachasima and loved it. As for the shop tooling, I would wait until the flood repairs are comlpete here before buying. I expect a lot very good refurbished equipment once the factories retool.

    [Reply]

    admin Reply:

    Hi Ron,

    Thanks for the post. I took a look at your blog and found your story fascinating.

    I joined as a ‘follower’ and look forward to reading your next post. As a fellow “retirement house builder” and blogger I’m sure we’ll have plenty to talk about over the coming months and years.

    Do you know what? Through this website I have become good friends with dozens of people in Thailand. I’m not talking about friends in the just in the frivolous online facebook sense I’m talking about building firm friendships with people you will actually meet with in real life.

    I’m sure you’ll make many real friends also as you build you blog about building a retirement house and retiring in Bangkok, Thailand. This blog has brought me in touch with so many people who have given valuable advice and comment. Without such support my project would have been a very lonely task instead of the exciting adventure it is.

    So a big Thank You to everyone who has supported me.

    So, Ron, once again thank you for your comments and I look forward to more of them. If you want to you can post here anytime you update your blog and add the url. We can talk about this outside of the blog – I may be able to set up a special page for you to advertise your posts. I can also give you a few tips on blogging.

    Thanks and good luck with your retiring in Thailand house build project in Bangkok, and your blogging website.

    Alan

    .

    [Reply]

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